Cure-all

If I had a dollar for every music critic's lament that, nowadays, to be a pop star you don't actually have to be able to sing, I'd have enough dollars to commission my own voice-processing system. Until that happens, there's Auto-Tune, the voice-processing software that offers hope and trendiness to those born with a mediocre vocal range. Can't sing? Auto-Tune can fix that. Not cool enough to be a star? Auto-Tune's got that covered. Boring lyrics? Auto-Tune can help make those cooler, too. It's a by-now time-tested way to make something out of nothing--even old news,* as the Gregory Brothers demonstrate. They make good on their claim: "everything sounds better Auto-Tuned."

Faced with old news in the kitchen--same old recipe, same uninspired stuff in the fridge--it's easy to turn insipid ingredients into rock stars. Add the culinary Auto-Tune: sesame oil. A few drops of this stuff on plain vegetables work magic. If you start a soup by sauteing garlic in roasted sseame oil, your life might n be forever changed.


It would be nice if we could say everything tastes better Auto-Tuned, but of course that's not true. Just as non-stop Auto-Tuned vocals grow tiresome, all-sesame-oil-flavored food, all the time, begins to lose some of its charm. It's worth thinking about how to make something out of nothing, in cooking, singing, and all sorts of other areas. Also worth thinking about: when not to make something out of nothing. It's a fine line between glam-ing up and over-reacting, sometimes. And we all need a little mediocrity mixed in with our rock-star cool from time to time.


What's your culinary Auto-Tune?

*and scary politics