The Blackbird Whistling, or Just After*
As far as I know, Tiger was the first to record the song "Guilty," in 1971. UB40 recorded their version fifteen years later, on Labour of Love. We could talk about the obvious (or less obvious) musical changes UB40 made (or what they didn't change)--and I hope we will. Which recording do you like better?
We could also talk about communication styles. I've heard more than one critic say that UB40 spoil the whole song by giving away the punchline, "I'm guilty," halfway through. I heard the UB40 version first, so I don't know what it would be like to have been surprised at the end of the song. I like Tiger's version better. musically, but maybe also because I admire that level of directness in personal communication. There's a lot to be said for just "getting something off your chest" (as he says), so clearly and directly that it can't be misinterpreted.
There's also something to be said for having been saying something all along, consciously or unconsciously, and only clarifying it later. In my experience, this is the more common way we express big and potentially-vulnerable-making things. We repeat our version of "guilty" (or whatever the big thing is) as a back-up vocal in our interactions. Most of us, I think, give ourselves away, most of the time without knowing we're doing so. But I also think that what we have to say still works as a punchline, once we finally get it out more directly, because other people don't know what it is we're trying to tell them. The potential problem here is that it can take a long time to build up to the punchline, and sometimes we just don't get to it.
If you're in an interpersonal or a communication rut, you could think about what you keep saying, or getting off your chest, or not, and how that's going. Which style works better for you?
If you're in a food rut, you could try a culinary equivalent. Some flavors come in suddenly with a kind of taste-bud bang that can't be ignored, while some accumulate gradually. Here is a very simple salad dressing recipe made with these two kinds of flavors. Raw garlic is sudden. You can't misinterpret it. Roasted garlic's milder, buttery taste comes through in a more blended, saying-it-all-along way. You can use this dressing on all sorts of things besides salad. You could try it on any kind of raw, steamed, baked, microwaved or stir-fried vegetable; potatoes; toast; tofu; sandwiches; fish; cranberry sauce.
Let me know which version you like better, and what you put it on. In fact, I challenge you--especially those who've said you're in a food rut--to use this dressing five different ways.
I put mine on a salad of celery, watermelon radish, roasted beets, roasted hazelnuts, lettuce and crumbled feta cheese today. You?
Salad dressing
1/2 of a large lemon3/4 cup flavorful olive oil
salt to taste (start with 1/2 teaspoon)
freshly ground pepper to taste
2-4 cloves roasted garlic, mashed
1 small clove raw garlic, minced
Squeeze half a lemon into a glass or stainless steel container. You should have about 1/4C lemon juice. If you have more or less juice, it doesn't matter; you can adjust the oil. You need three times as much oil as lemon juice.
Add salt and pepper, stir briskly or whisk to emulsify, and divide into two containers. To one batch, add the mashed, roasted garlic. Add the minced raw garlic to the other batch.
Keep refrigerated.
Makes about 4 servings of each version.
Roasted garlic
You can roast any amount of garlic; once roasted and scooped out of its skin, it freezes well.1 or more heads of garlic
olive oil
Leave the garlic heads whole and unpeeled, but, with a sharp knife, cut about 1/2 inch off the top of each head so you expose the tops of the garlic cloves. (Save the cut-off tips of the cloves to cook with another time or use them for the raw garlic version of the salad dressing.)
Put the garlic in an oven-safe dish, on a cookie sheet or on a generous piece of aluminum foil, cut-side up. Drizzle some olive oil over the top of the garlic so the oil gets down into the cloves. Be generous with the oil; you can use it later after it's been infused with roasted-garlic flavor.
Cover tightly with aluminum foil and bake in a 350* oven. I find the garlic usually takes about 45 minutes to cook thoroughly, but investigate after 25 minutes, and keep checking every 10-15 minutes. It's done when the exposed tops of the cloves look slightly golden and the cloves are very soft when poked with a fork.
Let cool, and extract the cloves from the papery skin, either by squeezing gently or by using a fork or a spoon to scoop the cloves out.
Strain any oil remaining in the pan/foil. You can use this garlic-infused oil to flavor anything--it's great on potatoes and broccoli--or you can cook with it.
Keep the garlic-infused oil refrigerated, and use it withing 10 days of making it. Roasted garlic should also be kept refrigerated, or, if you can't use it within a week, frozen.
*Wallace Stevens, "Thirteen ways of Looking at a Blackbird." in part:
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendoes,
The blackbird whistling
Or just after.
10 comments:
This is lovely. But I know if I were to roast a head of garlic, I would be sorely tempted to eat the whole thing right there. Sigh.
Well that would be fine, Sue. You just need to roast 12 (or more) heads at a time, 6 for immediate snacking and the rest for use in recipes later.
Wow, who would ever think of a three-fold analogy between music, interpersonal communication, and food?
I love the song. Never heard it before. I'm torn because I love UB40's sound, but I also inherently love the sound of anything recorded in the 70s - simpler, less production.
OK, let me extend that to food. In food, I prefer simpler. More production value tends to equal more refined sugar and other additives which taste good but encourage me to overeat and leave me feeling gross afterward. (I'm sorry for that comparison, UB40!)
In communication... I used to be of the mindset that absolute, immediate disclosure was the ideal. But I've come to feel that I can never even get close to that - there are always levels I can't even begin to articulate to myself. Just being spontaneous and bluntly honest can be like cramming raw garlic in the other's mouth! But neither is it cool to sugar-coat everything in an attempt to deceive and manipulate. Is there a middle ground, where you cook the communication with love so that it's the most nourishing it can be?
Woohoo, I'm getting into the food-music-communication analogy!
Garlic-fiend that I am, 6 heads for immediate snacking would push even my limits. Do you know what happens when you eat too much garlic? Garlic farts. They're worth experiencing once.
You mention interpersonal and communication ruts. I think most people can tell when they're in an interpersonal rut, but how do we know when we're in a communication rut? We keep getting the same unsatisfying responses time and time again?
Andy, when it comes to complex analogies and extended metaphors, you reign supreme. I like what you're saying about simpler food--and also the comparison of blunt honesty to cramming raw garlic into someone's mouth. Thanks for the thoughts. (And, no, I've never eaten six heads of garlic in one sitting. I don't think I've even even one whole head of garlic in one sitting. Clearly, your life is more exciting than mine.)
P, that's an great question. Yes, I'd say getting the same unsatisfying responses over and over. Maybe feeling "stuck" not being able to say something. Maybe trying to say something, over and over, and not getting any indication that other people hear or understand. Someone who can only communicate in particular ways might be in a communication rut--like someone who can only be negative and provoking. Thanks for thinking about this.
Wow. I am impressed by both the elegance of your multiple analogies and also by the thoughtfulness of the comments in response. Even when I was writing blogs in regular English as opposed to LOLspeak, I never attracted such interesting responses.
PJS, that's a good question! I think when the communication is good, you know it. You look forward to talking to the person, and you feel a certain intimacy while talking, and you feel a glow afterward. That sounds like sex, but my memory is dim on THAT subject!
Sex would probably be a good arena in which to practice communication. Not just communication like "Ouch, more to the left", but... well, I don't know; sex has never been intimate like that for me. Can anyone tell me what I'm missing? I just have an intuition that stuck-in-your-own-head sex seems similar to stuck-in-your-own-head conversations.
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